The Bet
by DreamingOfParadise
Summary: Who will last longer? The Doctor, without his beloved cups of tea, or Rose, without her greasy chips? They place a bet with each other to find out…
1. Signing the Contract

**So this is my first venture into Doctor Who fanfiction and this is what I came up with! It's a fun little story, a bit silly really, and any references will be explained at the end. **

**To any non-British readers, the show itself is British, as are the characters, so nothing will be Amercanised or whatever. No offence, but it would just be wrong. Any British words will be explained at the end.**

**I'll shut up now. Enjoy!**

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**The Bet**

_Who will last longer? The Doctor, without his beloved cups of tea or Rose, without her greasy chips? They place a bet with each other to find out…_

**Chapter One – Signing the Contract**

"Rose!"

The Doctor was sat in the TARDIS console room on his own, happily holding a purple flask in his hands while his companion was upstairs. They'd both decided to have a quiet day in today, considering they'd spent the previous one running along corridors, trying to avoid a stray Hoix.

He promptly frowned to himself when Rose didn't reply, so he called again, this time raising his voice.

"_Rose!_"

A few seconds later, she yelled her reply. "Yeah?"

"Can you come down here a moment?" the Doctor asked, standing up and circling the controls in a random fashion.

"Why?"

He sighed. "I've got an important question to ask you!"

While he waited for her to join him, he quickly checked the TARDIS screen and was relieved to see a few Gallifreyan symbols floating harmlessly around. He looked at them in longing for a moment, but was soon distracted by Rose, who leapt to his side a little breathlessly.

"Is something wrong?"

The Doctor grinned widely, making Rose smile herself. "You seem chirpy," she commented.

His eyes twinkled.

"What's this '_important question_,' then?" she asked, air quoting around the Doctor's words.

"Well," the Doctor began, holding out his flask. "I was wondering if you'd join me in having a cup of tea?"

Rose rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. "Are you being serious? You brought me down all those stairs for _that_?"

The Doctor's eyes widened in surprise.

"I was all the way up on the highest floor using the computer when you called me, and I thought there'd been a proper emergency!" she exclaimed, shaking her head.

"Ooh, why were you using the computer?" he asked curiously.

"Never mind that!" Rose snapped and the Doctor murmured an apology.

"I thought you liked tea," he commented, leaning against the console.

"I do," Rose replied. "I just don't share your scary passion for it."

The Doctor's mouth fell open. "My love for tea isn't _scary. _It's brilliant! Full of free radicals and tannins, you can't go wrong! All you British people love it… if something goes wrong you always say, 'Oh, I'll just put the kettle on.' Even you should know that, Rose, with your mother! Although she-"

"Doctor," Rose sighed. "You're rambling again."

He harrumphed. "But the point still stands."

Her eyes travelled to the Doctor's flask. "When did you get that?"

"I've always had it," he shrugged. "It was in the storage room and I guessed it'd be easier to use it than boiling a kettle all the time." He looked at the object in admiration and Rose sighed dramatically.

"You're staring at that thing like it's the best thing ever invented!"

"Oh no," he said, shaking his head. "No, that's undoubtedly sliced bread. Although, I may have actually had a part in creating that…"

He trailed off, thinking to himself, while Rose just frowned.

"But it's still amazing," he continued suddenly, grinning wildly. "It can keep things hot _and _cold! That's genius!"

Rose was still not impressed.

"You're easily pleased," she grumbled. "_And_, you sound like Katy Perry."

The Doctor's smile faded. "Urgh."

After a few moments of shuddering, he poured himself some tea and started sipping at it contentedly, soon meeting Rose's eye after feeling her gaze on him.

"Why are you staring at me?" he asked, feeling a little self conscious. Rose blinked a few times before answering.

"I swear you're addicted to tea, Doctor."

He raised an eyebrow defensively. "I'm not."

"Oh yeah?" Rose said, edging closer towards him. "How much tea do you drink a day?"

"Not that much," he replied with a nonchalant shrug. "I'm too busy saving the Universe most of the time."

Rose remained silent.

"Well… I'd say perhaps one or two cups."

She still remained quiet.

"Well, maybe three to four."

She pouted.

"Alright, more like five or six, but that's not relevant."

"It is," she grinned smugly. "You're addicted."

"I'm not!" the Doctor protested.

"You so are!"

"Time Lords don't suffer from addictions."

"Well _you_ do," Rose teased. "An almighty man, the last of his kind who fights all kinds of aliens, and his only weakness is a gold old cuppa tea."

He placed his flask on top of the console for emphasis and leaned towards her. "I really don't drink _that _much. At least it's not alcohol. That really does funny things to my system." He shuddered. "And getting drunk around Henry the Eighth _really _wasn't a great idea. I was nearly beheaded." He trailed off, shaking his head and returning to the present. "Anyway, like I said, I don't drink that much. I can control myself."

"No you can't," Rose smiled. "You couldn't last a _week _without it."

The Doctor's expression remained neutral. "I could say the same about you and your love of chips."

Rose's instincts made her want to flinch but she just about managed a calm face. "I don't know what you mean."

The Doctor knew Rose well; he had most definitely hit a nerve and he continued, taking a step closer towards her. "You know full well that you're addicted to chips, Rose Tyler."

"This is ridiculous," she said, starting to walk away. Before she could get very far, the Doctor gently grabbed her wrist and pulled her around so that she was facing him again, only a few inches away. Rose's breath quickened and she tried to remain angry, despite the Doctor's cheeky smile.

"You love chips, don't you?" he teased. "The warm, greasy, salty taste of those-"

"Argh, don't!" Rose screeched, covering her ears.

"Remember those chips covered in Krillitane oil? You certainly enjoyed those!"

"Shut up," she grumbled.

"And, after out first trip, we arrived back home on Earth and all you wanted was a nice portion of chips."

"Alright, you've got a point!" she sighed, lowering her arms. "But _your _addiction is more severe."

The Doctor's face fell and Rose stifled a laugh at the comic effect.

"With me, I only ever have chips about…"

"Four times a week?" the Doctor suggested, grinning a little.

"Yes, that sounds about right. Whereas _you_," she pointed, "have five or six cups of tea _a day_!"

"Tea is healthier," the Doctor argued.

"But it damages your teeth."

"What, these beauties?" he said, making a show of his perfect white smile. Rose grumbled; she'd always admired his teeth compared to her own. In fact, she pretty much admired every single thing about him, from his wonderful head of hair to the converse shoes on his feet.

"Yes, alright," she sighed. "Fair point, but I still think your addiction is greater."

The Doctor let out a long breath. "I've got a feeling we'll be arguing about this for the rest of time."

Rose laughed. "You've got that right."

"So…" the Doctor said, dragging out the word as he thought. "How about we have a little bet?"

"A bet?" Rose repeated, looking curious.

"Yeah," the Doctor smiled. "A _bet_."

She narrowed her eyes. "And what will it be about?"

He thought about this for a moment. "It will decide which of our addictions is the most severe." He looked her directly in the eyes. "I bet_ I_ can last a week without tea and that you wouldn't be able to do the same with your chips."

Rose squared her shoulders. "I beg to differ."

He smiled. "Do we have a bet, then?"

Rose nodded. "We do."

"I'll even type out a contract on the computer," he said, smiling excitedly. "Y'know, just to keep everything official."

"But what happens if we both survive a week?" Rose asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you really think that's gonna happen?"

"What if it does?" she persisted. "We've gotta be prepared."

"We'll just say it's a draw," he said. "Although that's horribly boring."

"How about we just bet until somebody caves?" Rose offered. "That'd be more interesting."

The Doctor smiled slowly. "This bet could go on for a long time, then, 'cause I'm not giving in anytime soon."

Rose laughed. "You took the words right outta my mouth." She paused, shifting the weight between her feet. "So, what's the punishment for whoever loses?"

He thought again, and a mischievous grin soon appeared on his lips. "I think the smugness of the winner should be punishment enough."

"You've got an evil streak, you know that?"

He waggled his eyebrows.

"Hang on, how about the winner thinks of a punishment _after_ the other person gives in? Y'know, keep the suspense and everything," Rose suggested.

"And you said_ I_ had the evil streak?" he laughed.

"Is that a deal, then?"

"It is. I'll just get this contract typed," he said, hurrying off into a random direction and disappearing into another room. Rose couldn't help grinning and also feeling fearful at the same time; could she _really_ survive longer? The Doctor was a Time Lord and she was a mere human… surely that gave him an advantage? An unfair one, at that.

She was thinking this through when he suddenly hurried in with two pieces of paper in his hands.

"Blimey, you type fast," she said.

"Yeah, well, I'm good with my hands," he replied with a wink. Rose tried not to think about that any further as he beamed at her. "I've got a contract for each of us. Here's mine," he said, making a show of the paper and then reading aloud what he had typed.

_I, the Doctor, accept the challenge of refraining from consuming any form of tea for as long as I can, in order to prove Rose Tyler wrong in thinking that she can last longer doing the same with chips. I will accept the punishment if I lose, ("like that's gonna happen," he added, earning a nudge in the ribs from Rose) and will also accept that I was wrong._

He looked up at her and handed her a sheet. "That's your's. All we need to do now is sign."

"You certainly do things properly," Rose commented.

He reached into one of his pockets and rummaged around for a while, his tongue sticking out as he concentrated. After a few moments, he found what he was looking for and produced two pens, handing one to Rose.

"Well, I've read this over a few times," she told him, "and there don't seem to be any footnotes or hidden traps of any kind."

The Doctor mocked looking offended and placed a hand to his chest. "Do you_ really_ think I'd do that?"

"Right then," Rose said, leaning on the flat surface of the console. "Let's do this."

The Doctor mirrored her actions, clicking his pen for dramatic effect. He quickly signed the paper and Rose did the same, biting her lip as she did so.

"We'll leave these up here for any future reference," he said, resisting the urge to smile. The truth was that he was already craving some caffeine and the flask of tea was horribly tempting, but he couldn't tell Rose that.

"We officially have a bet, then," Rose declared, rubbing her hands together. "Just remember the last bet we made, though, 'cause I actually won."

"Yeah, well," the Doctor shrugged. "Queen Victoria was being unfair."

"Unfair?" she scoffed. "I won fair and square. She was not amused."

The Doctor shook his head and held out his hand. Rose took it and shook, unable to stop smiling.

"Let the fun begin," she murmured sarcastically.

"Allons-y!"

* * *

**Told you it was silly. ****I hope you enjoyed it, though, and I'm planning about five/six chapters if there is enough interest. Chips are french fries, as I think Americans call them.**

**References (just in case): **

**- Krillitane oil was used on the chips in episode three of Series Two when the Doctor and Rose went to the school to investigate what was happening. **

**- In episode two of Series Two, Rose bet the Doctor that she could make Queen Victoria say that she was not amused. This was a famous saying of her's, apparently.**

**- Allons-y means 'lets go' in French. **

**- Katy Perry is a singer who had a hit with the song 'Hot 'n' Cold.'**

**Thanks for reading! **


	2. Evil Schemes

**Thank you very much to all you epic people who reviewed/alerted/favourited. I could hug you all! Now, on with the story:**

**

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****The Bet**

_Chapter Two – Evil Schemes_

"Hang on, though," Rose suddenly said a while later, frowning at the Doctor. "I was thinking about this earlier... you're a Time Lord and I'm just a human. Doesn't that give you some kind of... unfair alien advantage?"

The Doctor popped his head above the book he was reading and looked at her through his wide rimmed glasses. "Nah. Not really... and besides, you get to sleep for half of the time. I've got to survive the night on my own."

She wasn't expecting that. "Oh." After a pause, she asked, "Well what do you usually do, then?"

He shrugged. "It depends really. I mostly find a good book, sometimes go outside and wander about a bit."

She was a little disappointed. "Hmm."

The Doctor turned his attention back to the print in front of him but was really struggling to find any meaning behind the words, despite his intelligence. His mind was being dominated with a craving of caffeine and it had only been, what? - he quickly glanced at the TARDIS console - fifteen minutes since the bet...

He was in trouble.

Rose, on the other hand, was feeling quite positive. She didn't_ think_ she had any cravings of any kind at the moment, but kept a close eye on the Doctor and his actions. He seemed perfectly composed, as usual, and she silently glared at him.

She had actually expected this bet to be a lot more interesting and quietly dawdled around the console, wondering what to do next. She certainly didn't have the Doctor's attention and wanted something to keep herself distracted.

A sudden idea popped into her head and she grinned mischievously.

"Doctor?" she said slowly, walking over to him. He glanced up at her and waited expectantly. "I was wondering..."

Before she could finish, the Doctor interrupted. "Now why do I have the feeling this is going to be bad?"

Rose smiled sweetly. "I just wanted to ask a little favour."

He took off his glasses and placed the book on the seat beside him. "And what might that be?"

"Well, it's been a while since I saw my Mum..."

He quickly shook his head. "Oh no. No, no, _no_."

"But, Doctor!" Rose moaned. "It's been a while since I've seen her!"

"You saw her last week," he pointed out, somewhat bluntly.

"Yeah, well," Rose shrugged. "I lose track of time in here."

He quickly stood up and occupied himself with the TARDIS screen and Rose followed promptly behind him, determined to get her way.

"But Doctor, she's my Mum..." she whinged. "We won't be there long, I promise, an hour at the most!"

He remained silent, pressing a few random buttons.

"_Please_?" Rose pleaded, hoping to stare at him long enough and pull his gaze towards her. She eventually succeeded and his eyes met hers a little reluctantly. He blew out a long breath and pulled a lever that was within his reach.

"Alright, then," he sighed. "But just the one hour! I don't know how much of your mother's company I can endure."

Rose smiled to herself. He hadn't seemed to have twigged her _real _intentions for going back home... Not yet, anyway.

***

"Well, here we are then," the Doctor announced a few minutes later. "The Powell Estate."

Rose smiled. "Home sweet home."

The TARDIS settled and the pair headed towards the doors. The Doctor didn't pick up his coat on the way there; he was feeling very warm and queasy, so no longer required it. He didn't want to think about that too much, though.

They both stepped outside and headed towards the flat, Rose skipping eagerly ahead and the Doctor trailing behind a little slowly. Rose noticed this and backtracked, grabbing his hand in an aid to help him up the stairs. At the moment, he was beginning to feel very much like an old man. Well, he was already over 900 years of age, but that didn't matter...

"You alright, Doctor?" Rose asked. "You seem a little down."

He looked up to her and smiled slowly. "I'm fine. Just scared about Jackie."

"Hey!" she grumbled, nudging him. "She's not that bad."

"Nah," he muttered under his breath, "neither was Hitler."

"You did not _seriously_ just compare my mother to Hitler?!" Rose retorted, unable to stop grinning a little.

They reached the top of the steps and Rose happily knocked on the door, while the Doctor kept his distance; it was best to be cautious, in his opinion. He'd learnt that from years of experience.

After a few moments, Jackie appeared at the door and her eyes widened at the unexpected visitors. She soon smiled and pulled her daughter into a crushing hug, loudly showing how glad she was to see her. The Doctor had to suppress an agitated eye roll; sure, it was nice that Rose had a great relationship with her mother, but Jackie could sometimes be a little overpowering and annoying.

"Rose! I never knew you were coming back! Oh! This is such a nice surprise, but I've got nothing in... I wish you'd have given me some notice!"

Rose pulled away, laughing lightly. "No need to worry, Mum, it's just a quick visit."

"Well come in, then!" she said, stepping inside while Rose followed. The Doctor took in a deep breath and tried to steady himself as he trailed in after her, a little reluctantly.

He took a seat next to Rose on the sofa and Jackie frowned at him. "Eh, Doctor, you're looking a little pale. You alright?"

He gulped at the sudden attention and loosened his tie a little. "Yeah, I'm fine," he replied, forcing a smile.

She studied him for a moment and the Doctor began to feel very uncomfortable. "You don't look fine," she observed. "Are you sure?"

He wanted to sigh but nodded slowly. "Absolutely positive."

"Well, whatever you say," she shrugged. "But I know what'll cheer you up anyway; a nice cuppa tea."

The Doctor stiffened in his seat and Rose had to stifle a laugh. Jackie walked through into the kitchen, completely oblivious, and began boiling a kettle. The Doctor turned to Rose and raised an eyebrow.

"I never thought you were a schemer," he said, grumbling under his breath.

She grinned. "Sorry, it was just irresistible. I'm taking this bet _very_ seriously."

Jackie soon joined them, placing a tray with three cups of tea on the table. The Doctor very nearly groaned when Rose took hers, taking a very long and obvious sip.

"Evil," he murmured quietly.

Jackie had settled down with her own cup and quickly noticed the Doctor's actions, or_ lack_ of actions; he was sat there rigidly, staring ahead at the wall. "That one's for you, y'know," she said, pointing to the solitary cup on the tray.

He looked at it longingly but sat back, folding his arms. "I'm not thirsty at the moment."

Jackie's mouth dropped open wildly.

"Watch out, you'll be catching flies in a moment," the Doctor muttered.

"You must be ill, Doctor," Jackie said. "Usually you can't get enough of my cups of tea!"

He fidgeted around awkwardly. "Not today."

He knew he was being horribly rude but he couldn't stop himself; he wasn't in the mood to be polite. Besides, that was the type of man he was; rude and not ginger.

"Ah well," she shrugged. "Your loss."

"Yeah," Rose added. "You're missing out. This cuppa happens to be extra hot and tasty."

The Doctor very nearly glared at her.

He was feeling really unwell at the moment and, although he hated to admit it, he knew that he was suffering from withdrawal symptoms. It was pathetic of him, really, but he couldn't help himself, and now Rose's plan was very nearly working. The temptation to reach out and finish that tea in one gulp was overwhelming, but he concentrated on translating his favourite book into Latin in order to control himself.

Rose, on the other hand, was a little irritated that she hadn't succeeded but still had plenty of tricks up her sleeve. She felt a little cruel in doing this, but was determined to show the Doctor that she wasn't a pushover. She meant business and _was_ going to win.

"What's up with you two today?" Jackie suddenly asked, pulling the pair from their thoughts. Rose frowned at her.

"What do you mean, Mum?"

"I dunno... have you had an argument?"

The Doctor and Rose met each other's gaze. "No, I wouldn't exactly say an argument," Rose replied. "But anyway, what have _you_ been up to? Hang on," she leant forward, squinting at a photo that had suddenly caught her attention. "Wait, is that Mark from the newsagents?"

The Doctor tuned out again as Rose and her mother began talking about Jackie's love life, something which actually made his stomach turn. He was desperately struggling now and really needed to get out of there when, suddenly, an idea came into his mind. If he was alone, he would have let out an evil laugh and made a hand gesture like Mr Burns from the Simpsons.

"Would you two ladies please excuse me for a few moments?" he asked, standing up. "I've just remembered something."

Rose raised an eyebrow suspiciously but said nothing. He quickly waved to the pair and rushed out, quickly racing down the stairs. Almost as soon as his coat swished out the door, Jackie was commenting on his strange behaviour.

"He's a bit weird, y'know."

"Nah, he's not really. He's just an alien."

Jackie shook her head in despair, making a start on the Doctor's cup of tea. "Don't you think he's been acting strangely today?"

"Mum, you need to see him when he's trying to save the world from a bunch of aliens," she laughed. "He's a lot stranger when he's doing that. I think he's just moody today."

"Can aliens like him get moody?" she frowned.

Rose laughed. "Hell yes. You should meet the Daleks." She paused for a moment. "Then again, maybe you really shouldn't."

Jackie looked grave. "You're starting to sound like him."

Rose scoffed. "Don't be so ridiculous."

"I'm not. You speak like him. Before you know it, you'll start looking like him."

"Now you're just being stupid, Mum," Rose laughed. "I'm not thinking of growing sideburns anytime soon."

Jackie sighed. "I just don't wanna lose you, that's all. I don't want you to change so much that I won't even recognise you anymore."

"Mum," Rose said, leaning across to grab her mother's hand. "That's not gonna happen."

"I-"

Jackie was interrupted by a noise near the door and the Doctor soon hurried in, carrying a plastic bag in his hands. He seemed chirpier than before and gave the pair a big grin, taking his seat back down on the sofa next to Rose.

"Sorry about that," he said, taking some wrapped objects out of the bag. "I don't know why, but I just had the sudden craving for some chips!"

Rose stiffened this time, and the Doctor tried not to look too smug. The smell of the food soon hit her nose and she closed her eyes, willing herself not to drool.

He continued unwrapping the chips and Jackie rubbed her hands together. "Ooh, Doctor, you got some for all of us!"

"Yup," he smirked. "A nice treat for us all, eh?"

"I could kill you," Rose muttered quietly, and the Doctor smirked, replying, "You'll regret it if you do."

Jackie didn't hear the exchange and quickly settled back, eating her own portion of chips. The Doctor did the same and Rose's lay untouched on the table. The scent was overwhelming and seeing the greasy chips just a few inches to her left was almost unbearable.

"Rose," Jackie muttered around a mouthful of food. "Why aren't you having yours?"

"I'm not hungry," Rose grumbled through gritted teeth.

"But these are your favourite," she protested. "The one's from the local chippie!"

"I know," Rose sighed. "I'm on a diet, anyway."

"Rose, for God's sake, you're like a stick; you don't need to diet. Just eat the flipping chips!"

She let out a frustrated sigh, the temptation becoming too much. "I'm just going to the bathroom."

She stormed out and made a point of throwing a pillow at the Doctor on the way out. He couldn't help grinning in amusement. Revenge was certainly sweet and this bet was now _definitely_ becoming interesting.

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**Well I hope you liked that! I'm sorry if they seemed out of character at any point, but they do mean business with this bet!**

**Random thing, but what did you think of the regeneration? Did you cry until it physically hurt?**

**(tumbleweed blows by) Alrighty then. Perhaps it's just me... but I do get emotional about these things! Anyway, p****lease leave some feedback if you can, it's always appreciated!**


	3. Salads and Chocolate

**Hello again! Before I start, I just want to thank all you people who reviewed/alerted/favourited from the bottom of my hearts (yes, I have two). It's _really_ kind of you and, if I could, I'd make the Doctor hug each and every one of you. Sadly, he's preoccupied at the moment with a group of Daleks but promised that he'd get back to me as soon as he could.**

**Anyway. Chapter three...**

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**The Bet**

_Chapter Three – Salads and Chocolate_

After another hour or two, the Doctor and Rose left Jackie and headed back towards the TARDIS. Rose was in a foul mood and continuously snapped one-worded answers to any of the Doctor's remarks.

When inside the console room, the Doctor asked Rose where she wanted to go and she just shrugged fiercely, turning her back to him.

"Oh, come on, Rose," he sighed. "I only got those chips because you made Jackie give me some tea!"

She didn't even bother replying, just gave him a glare.

"You started it," the Doctor murmured quietly, flicking at some buttons. Rose rolled her eyes and turned towards him. She opened her mouth to make a comment but stopped herself, closing her lips and sitting down on the chair.

"You look like a goldfish," the Doctor said, adding a grin to try and make her smile. Instead, she folded her arms.

"Well, anyway, I've set the controls to just fly through the Vortex," he continued when the TARDIS suddenly came to life. "Just thought you might be interested."

"I'm getting something to eat," Rose sighed, standing up and heading towards the kitchen. "I don't suppose _you'll_ want anything seeing as you stuffed your face a few minutes ago."

"What are you gonna have?" he asked, trying not to chuckle.

"A salad," she hissed, slamming the door behind her.

***

Rose joined the Doctor a few minutes later with a plate full of what looked like a miniature garden. She picked at it lazily with her fork, completely reluctant to eat any of the lettuce; it looked like someone had just picked it straight from a bush and she grimaced to herself, moving on to the tomatoes. She pierced one's skin and retched, watching the liquid slowly oozing from the middle.

The Doctor watched this in quiet amusement, resisting the urge to laugh. "Taste nice?"

Rose met his gaze, forcing a smile. "Grand."

He smirked. "At least it's healthy."

"Yup," Rose replied bluntly. "I just _love_ getting my five a day."

She began picking at a boiled egg and sighed to herself, longing for some chips. She could just imagine the taste... the greasy, salty-

"Rose?"

She blinked, realising that the Doctor was looking at her expectantly. He must have said something. "Sorry, what?"

"I was just gonna say that I need to go somewhere, I've just remembered," he smiled. "Preoccupied in your thoughts?"

"No," she frowned. "I was just overwhelmed by the taste sensations of this glorious dish."

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, y'know."

"Good job I never use it, then."

She quickly placed her unfinished meal to one side and stood up, joining him by his side. He looked a little hurt for some reason and Rose sighed, realising how cruelly she had been behaving; she was acting like a moody teenager.

"Doctor, I'm sorry that I've been rude," she said in a rush, kicking at the floor with her shoe. "I'm just..."

"Suffering from withdrawal symptoms?" he offered, grinning. Rose nudged him. "Shut up."

"Apology accepted," he smiled. "Now," the TARDIS landed, "I just need to get something. I won't be long... you don't have to come if you don't want to. It'd probably be very boring."

"Why do I get the impression that you're hiding something?"

He raised his eyebrows. "I'll be about half an hour. Have fun with your salad while I'm gone!"

He rushed towards the doors and Rose resisted making a rude gesture to his back. "Where are you going, Doctor?"

"Well," he began, speaking in a low voice, "outside those doors lies a whole new world..."

A smile crept onto Rose's face.

"We could be on some distant planet in the future, or some brilliant civilisation in the past," he continued, putting on his coat.

"Ooh, mysterious," Rose whispered, waving her hands around.

"Ah, don't spoil the suspense, Rose," the Doctor groaned. "I was quite pleased with myself then! Created quite an atmosphere." He paused, thinking to himself. "Maybe I should become an author. I've always had a way with words."

"Smug, much?" Rose grimaced.

"Anyway, allons-y!" he said, reaching forward and starting to pull open the doors.

"Doctor!" Rose yelled, causing him to start a little. "Just tell me where you're going!"

He sighed. "Alright. We're in London, modern day. I need to go to a shop. I love shops," he grinned. "Especially in hospitals!"

Rose shook her head in disbelief. "Wow, that _really_ sounds like a 'whole new world.'"

"I had you fooled for a few moments," the Doctor countered. "So are you actually gonna let me go now?"

Rose sighed. "Feel free."

He disappeared out the doors and she blew out a long breath, prickling with curiosity but wanting to keep herself occupied while he was gone. After a few moments' thought, she headed towards the kitchen. More salad it was, then.

***

Rose was just beginning to develop a lifelong hatred of tomatoes when there was a sudden noise from the console room. Her name soon followed, yelled by the Doctor.

"Alright, I'm coming down now!" she replied, hauling herself off the kitchen counter that she'd been sitting on. She couldn't help sprinting a bit towards the main room; the suspense was killing her.

When she eventually stormed in to meet the Doctor, she stood completely still, momentarily stunned by the scene in front of her.

The area around the console was completely covered with cardboard boxes, some of which were open and Rose could see some jars inside. In another box she could see the wrappings of some chocolate bars and she frowned heavily.

"Doctor! What the fu-"

"Fudge!" the Doctor cried, stretching out his arm. "Do you want some of this chocolate bar?"

She stared at his wordlessly. "What the _hell_ is all this?"

"Several jars of coffee and boxes of chocolate bars," he replied, as though it was common sense. He took an obvious bite out of the fudge and grinned happily, taking a seat on the chair. He rested his converse shoes on top of the controls, looking in Rose's direction. "Something wrong?"

"Wh-" Rose began, shaking her head. "_Why_?"

"Well I need to intake some caffeine somehow," the Doctor explained. "And this seemed like a fair enough solution."

"Yeah, 'cause everybody buys a shop's entire stock of products when they're craving something!" she exclaimed. "Isn't that cheating, though?"

"Nope. The contract strictly states-"

"Alright, alright," she interrupted. "But who on earth let you buy all this stuff?"

"Oh, he was a nice man. Bob, I think his name was. He even helped me carry the stuff to the TARDIS!" he told her, smiling all the way.

"But..."

"The psychic paper came in handy, mind you," he continued.

She rolled her eyes. "I hope you paid him."

He didn't answer that.

"Well there's another person in this world who now thinks you're insane," Rose sighed, taking a seat beside him. "Well done."

"Thanks," he grinned, reaching into a box. "Kit Kat?"

She sighed, taking the chocolate bar from him. "You're unbelievable."

"But," he interrupted, holding up a finger, "in a brilliant way."

"Whatever."

***

"Ugh. Rose, I feel ill."

She glanced over at the Doctor; he was currently slouched over on the seat, surrounding by dozens of empty chocolate bar wrappers. A low moan escaped his lips and she smiled a little.

"How many bars did you eat exactly?"

He let out a very long sigh. "Too many."

Rose laughed. "Some of those buttons on your suit will be popping soon under the strain."

"I've actually got a very fast metabolism," he frowned. "I don't usually put on any weight."

"That's obvious."

He smirked. "Ugh, I could seriously fall asleep right now... maybe I should get some coffee-"

Rose gripped his arm. "Doctor, that's not wise, you'll just make yourself vomit. If that's possible..." She paused. "Do Time Lords vomit?"

"Oh yes."

His words were slurring and Rose looked at him warily. "Do you want to take a nap?"

"I haven't slept in months. It's," he paused, yawning wildly, "it's a waste of time. I don't like it."

Rose sighed. "I really don't know what to do with you sometimes. One minute you're sprinting around the TARDIS like an over-active five year old, the next you're gorging on chocolate bars and complaing about sleeping! I-"

She trailed off, realising how oddly quiet he was being. Turning towards him, she snorted; his eyes were closed and his body was slowly drooping towards hers. His head eventually rested on her shoulder and she gasped, alarmed at the wonderful head of hair that was so close to her. She had to slow her breathing for a moment and twiddled her thumbs, wondering how long she'd be stuck here; she couldn't disturb him, after all.

Staying as still as she could, she whipped out her mobile phone and began randomly checking through some old messages to keep herself occupied. It was only when a muffled sound came from him that the Doctor received her attention.

"Mmm... te-"

She froze, looking down at him. He was silent for a few moments before another set of meaningless words escaped from his mouth.

"No, te- I want the... no!"

Rose had to clamp her hand over her mouth to stop her laughter. She now knew the reason why the Doctor hated sleeping; someone must have told him that he had the habit of talking during the process.

"Rose... _no_, I just- just one!"

Her eyes widened at the mention of her name.

"Just... ugh, give me the tea!"

He practically shouted this last part and Rose snorted, her shoulders shaking violently. She couldn't believe what was happening and was overwhelmed by the sharp pain this laughter had caused in her chest.

Looking down at her phone, a sudden idea sprung into her mind and she giggled, setting up the video camera.

"And... record..."

* * *

**Thanks again for reading and I hope you liked the update! I'd like to think the story's quite fun - makes a change from all the angst I've been writing! This is gonna be a shameless plug but I actually have a Doctor Who blog (I'm a full on geek) and it would be nice if you visited... it's www . the-oncomingstorm . blogspot . com.**


	4. The Time Lord Touch

**Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews you've left, it really makes everything seem worth it. I just want to say that, although nothing much happens in the way of a plot in this story, the interaction between the Doctor and Rose is the key thing. **

**OK, so here's the chapter! (I wrote most of this while drinking tea *evil chuckle*)**

* * *

**The Bet**

_Chapter Four - The Time Lord Touch_

Rose smirked to herself and slowly placed the phone back in her pocket, just in time for the Doctor to start stirring. A long groan escaped his lips and he stretched out, nearly hitting Rose in the face during the process. He frowned and opened his eyes to look at her.

"Oh," he said quietly. "Sorry." After blinking a few times he asked, "What... what just happened?"

"You fell asleep," Rose answered, pressing her lips together with a lot of force in order to stop her smile escaping. Her mouth was tingling from the effort but she kept at it; she certainly didn't want the Doctor to become suspicious.

"No I didn't," the Doctor retorted. "I was just resting my eyes."

"Of course you were," Rose smirked. "That explains why you slumped over onto my shoulder."

His eyes widened comically. "I... No, I didn't."

She grinned. "Alright then. I'll take your word for it."

After giving her a long look, he nodded. "Good."

He sat upright and took a long look at all the empty wrappers still remaining around him. After doing so, he let out a heavy sigh and clutched his stomach. "I still feel ill. The smell of the chocolate is hovering in the air."

"Bless."

"I think I need some coffee, actually," the Doctor murmured to himself, diving into some boxes. Rose's fingers curled around the phone in her pocket and she clamped her free hand over mouth, stifling her laughter. Everytime she thought about earlier, a wave of hysteria passed through her; it was like wanting to laugh in a really inappropriate situation, in a church for example. Not that she'd ever been in one; Jackie had made her thoughts on religion very clear during Rose's childhood.

"I'll have one as well, if you're boiling the kettle," she said after a while, eventually sorting her thoughts out. The Doctor popped his head up from a box with a jar in his hand and he grinned.

"Missing the chips, yet?"

Rose's smile vanished. "Nope. Not even thought about it, to be honest." She picked at her fingernails nonchalantly for some extra emphasis.

"That's good, then, 'cause I'm not even missing my tea."

Rose snorted and received a strange look. After composing herself, she coughed. "Why did you ask, anyway? Feeling worried?"

"Nope."

"No," Rose laughed. "Of course you're not. You've got a substitute, anyway, and it's not _really_ fair, but still," she shrugged, "Whatever you say."

He smirked, rushing off towards the kitchen. "Won't be a mo."

She smiled after him. It was going to be one of the greatest moments of her life when the Doctor watched her video, and she was going to be there ready with her camera, taking a photo to preserve the memory forever.

Turns out he was right; she did have an evil streak, after all.

***

The Doctor paced back and forth in the kitchen, wincing to himself. Had he _really _just fallen asleep next to Rose? Argh! He ran his fingers through his messy hair in despair; for someone so clever, how could he have been so stupidly _stupid_?! He knew that he tended to talk or act out elaborate scenes during his sleep - Sarah Jane Smith had kindly pointed that out to him a few years ago, resulting in eternal embarrassment and humiliation.

And he'd slipped again today, in front of Rose. _Rose. _Of all the people, it had to be _her_.

He was an idiot.

The kettle boiled and he sighed, absently pouring the water and feeling the warm steam on his face. There was a pot of teabags just a few inches away from him and his hand was willing him to stretch out towards it and...

He blinked rapidly, reaching for the coffee. If those chocolate bars made him oddly drowsy, he'd have to stay away from them. He couldn't risk falling asleep again.

So he'd just have to frazzle his mind with some coffee instead. Despite his situation, he smirked to himself. _Frazzle. What a great word!_

He then sighed, taking the cups in his hands and heading back towards Rose. "Remember,"he murmured under his breath, "just deny everything and you'll be fine."

***

"I actually really hate coffee," the Doctor declared, finishing the last drop from his mug with a lot of effort. "Ugh. Horrible."

Rose looked at him, her eyebrows raising. "You what?"

"It tastes disgusting," he grimaced. "Like... like..."

"But Doctor, why did you buy so much of it if you hate the taste?" Rose asked, giving him an odd look.

_'Because I'm desperate' _was the first thought that popped into the Doctor's head.

"I've got to win this bet somehow," he managed.

Rose leaned forward, blowing out a long breath. "What's the time, anyway?"

"It's about 7pm," the Doctor answered, not even looking away from her. Rose promptly frowned, making the Doctor grin. "It's a Time Lord thing, y'know. Being able to tell the time. Comes in handy."

"Are you being funny?"

The Doctor looked innocent. "No. I just have a natural ability of always knowing the time." He paused. "And I tend to show off in the process."

She sighed. "Anyway, can we actually go somewhere tomorrow? It's been a while, after all."

"Oooh, I know just the place," he beamed. "You'll love it."

She smiled. "Great. But it's too early for me to go to bed right now... so what should we do?"

He shrugged. "I hope it doesn't involve any more chocolate or coffee, otherwise I might throw up."

"Or fall asleep again," Rose added helpfully.

"I don't know what you mean," the Doctor said quietly. "But anyway, did you have anything in mind?"

"Not exactly." Her stomach then rumbled very obviously. "Oh God," she muttered, clutching at her belly. "That's embarrassing."

The Doctor smiled crookedly. "Salad not doing it for you, then?"

"Don't go there," Rose snapped. "Hey, how about you cook me something?"

His eyes lit up automatically at the challenge. "Ooh, actually I have just the thing." He stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the kitchen. "You'll never guess what I've got planned."

"Is it pie?" Rose asked, closing the door behind her.

The Doctor's face fell. "Perhaps."

"That's a yes, then," she laughed. "What filling were you thinking of?"

He thought for a moment. "That depends. Are you thinking of sweet or savoury?"

"Savoury," Rose answered quickly. _Anything that vaguely resembles some chips, please!_

"How about..." the Doctor continued, poking his head into the fridge freezer, "some chicken?"

"Mmm!" Rose said a little loudly, frightening him momentarily. "Sounds fantastic!"

He smirked. "Molto bene."

***

About half an hour later the meal was well under way. Rose was certainly impressed with the Doctor's culinary skills; half of the time his face was contorted in concentration and his tongue poked out of his mouth on regular occasions. She was once again having a tough time keeping a straight face.

He had just started work on the pastry, asking Rose to pass him the flour. She did so, but handed it to him with a bit too much force, leaving him showered in a cloud of mist. After coughing for a few minutes and waving his arms around, he scowled.

"Blimey, Rose, can you please stop assaulting me?" he frowned. "You nearly dropped the chicken on my foot earlier and now I'm being gassed by flour."

Rose snorted, watching him making the mixture. "You seem pretty good at this, though."

He grinned in pride. "Yeah. I had a few tips from Delia."

"Oh, you bought one of her books?" Rose asked in interest.

"No," the Doctor said, looking surprised. "I met her."

Rose tutted. "You're always name-dropping. You're like some Z list celebrity trying to have a claim to fame."

"That was a low blow, Rose," the Doctor teased. "You have most definitely offended me."

She smiled to herself. "When's this gonna be ready, anyway? I'm starving... couldn't you have just bought a ready made one and bung it in the oven?"

He scowled once more. "This one has the special Time Lord touch."

She swallowed, pushing back her sudden inappropriate thoughts. "Of course. Sorry."

They stood in silence for a few moments and Rose looked around the cramped little kitchen. She still couldn't really fathom how there was so much space crammed inside such a small box. She was just pondering this when something suddenly caught her eye. She leant over towards a small metal pot and opened it, holding a few teabags in her hands.

"Hey, Doctor," she said in a low voice. "Missing the tea?"

He didn't look at her; just sorted out the pastry with a bit more force.

"It's calling out for you, y'know," she continued, holding a single teabag between her thumb and index finger. "It's missing you!"

"Right, the pie's ready," he said loudly. "Let's get this baby in the oven."

Rose put the teabags back, feeling a little stupid. She caught a smug grin on the Doctor's face as he put the pie in the oven, and the heat flooded her cheeks.

"That'll be ready in just over an hour," he said, rubbing his hands together. He turned towards her and raised a single eyebrow. "Nice try."

She averted her eyes to the oven and tried to focus on the smell surrounding her. This bet was certainly becoming more and more intense...

***

"Oh. My. Gosh!" Rose sighed, clutching her plate to her chest. "This is _amazing_..."

The Doctor smiled triumphantly. "I'm not going to brag." He paused. "Much."

"Is there a special ingredient or something?" she asked, taking another mouthful. "Oh no, you haven't smuggled chips in here, have you? Doctor, that would be-"

He laughed. "No. I wouldn't cheat like that! Like I said before, it has the Time Lord touch."

She nodded slowly, eating some more. "Ugh, I could live off these pies."

"I already do," he smirked, taking his own bite.

Rose looked down at her plate in surprise; only one half of the pie was waiting for her. "Argh, half of it's gone already!"

"Optimism, Rose!" the Doctor grinned. "You still have half of it_ left_."

"Pfft," she replied.

A few minutes later and both plates were clean. The Doctor let out a satisfied sigh, whereas Rose yawned. She was pleased, though, because she was now full and had no desire whatsoever for a plate of chips. _Thanks very much, Doctor, _she thought to herself.

"Tired?" he asked, catching her attention.

"No," she replied. "I'm just yawning for fun."

"Rose," the Doctor warned. "The sarcasm isn't attractive."

Her face prickled. She was thinking too much about what he had just said and only looked up when she heard his voice again.

"Maybe you should have an early night? I'm sure we'll be busy tomorrow."

That comment didn't help with her thoughts and she mentally shook herself. "Uh, yeah. I think I will actually." She stood up. "Can I trust you on your own?"

He made a strange noise. "I'm not a five year old."

"You act like it sometimes, though," she countered.

"True."

"But seriously?" Rose asked. "You'll admit it if you cave, won't you?"

"You don't have to worry about that," he said carelessly. "Do you want to monitor me with some CCTV just incase?"

"Shut up."

He grinned. "No. You can trust me, honestly."

"Alright then. See you in the morning, then."

He smiled. "Will do. Have a good night."

When she had disappeared he let out a very long sigh and paced back and forth for a few moments. He certainly wasn't looking forward to this night alone... in fact, he was dreading it. The night's were the worst; too much time to think...

He reached for a random book he had on top of the TARDIS console and sat down, flicking through the pages.

"Stay strong," he murmured to himself. "You're a Time Lord... you can do this."

It was a shame he didn't believe a word of his pep talk...

* * *

**Thanks again to everyone who has read this - Doctor Who fans are awesome, it's official. Just two more chapters left now and I hope you've enjoyed it so far!**

**Also, I have a question: Can someone please, please, _please_ tell me what the name of the music played during the Doomsday beach scene is?! I've been trying to find it and just can't! It's not called 'Doomsday' or 'Rose's Theme' so does anyone have any idea? Please tell me if you do - I _need_ it on my iPod.**

**Quick reference: The Delia mentioned is the famous cook Delia Smith.**

**Anyway, that's it for now!**


	5. Tricked by Trickery

**Thanks once more to all you readers/reviewers! Sorry that it took a while for this chapter but I was waiting for inspiration rather than rushing it. I also got very angry while writing it because, after adding some important parts to the chapter, my laptop decided to lose connection. _Fantastic_...**

* * *

**The Bet**

_Chapter Five - Tricked by Trickery_

It was 3 o' clock in the morning and the Doctor was sweating.

It wasn't too warm around him; in fact, it was always comfortable inside the TARDIS and the temperature never usually bothered him anyway. But today, he was suffering from severe withdrawal symptoms, mainly because he'd stayed away from all forms of caffeine as a precaution, and his body wasn't reacting well to it all.

He was becoming increasingly queasy and fanned himself, loosening his tie at the same time. He briefly thought how easy Rose had it all; she was probably sleeping at the moment, away from all her cravings and thoughts. _Lucky human, _he grimaced.

After taking another sip of some water, he unbuttoned his suit and sat there in his shirt. It was almost sticking to his chest and he dreaded to think what he looked like; probably _almost_ unattractive.

"Ugh," he muttered, running his hands through his hair. He didn't know if he could stand anymore of this... Cybermen and Clockwork Robots were easy, but surviving without tea... he nearly believed it would be the end of him.

Well, not literally. He wasn't planning on regenerating due to a lack of tea, but he just had a habit of being a little melodramatic.

Exhaling a very heavy sigh, he waited for the minutes to tick by and eventually reached for a random book in order to distract himself. He wasn't doing a very good job, though, and his thoughts kept wandering to what state he'd be in a few hours later. Maybe Rose would walk in after a nice night of sleep and just see a puddle on the floor, because that's what he honestly felt he'd be reduced to.

He gulped. It had never been this bad before...

_I'll have to take a shower before she gets up, _he thought to himself. _Nice and fresh... make it seem as though this is all a doddle._

As he devised this plan, a small smile crept onto his face. Just seeing the expression on Rose's face would be brilliant... not forgetting her reaction when they would arrive on the planet he'd thought of.

Standing up and stretching, he decided to occupy himself with counting the chocolate bar wrappers around him. It was out of curiosity, of course, not out of desperation...

***

Rose's eyelids fluttered open and she groaned a little to herself, rolling over in her bed and checking the time. 9am. Time to get up.

She sat upright and, almost instantly, the Doctor entered her thoughts. What had his night been like? A smile played on her lips just thinking about what he'd been getting up to. Maybe she'd walk downstairs and see a brand new batch of pies for breakfast. Her stomach rumbled at the prospect.

Quickly reaching for her nightgown and clothes, she made her way towards the bathroom, ready for her morning shower. She was astonished, however, after opening the door and seeing the Doctor standing there with a towel wrapped around the lower half of his skinny body. His gaze flickered to her in surprise and he gasped, aware of his half naked-ness. They both stood still, staring silently for a few moments and the Doctor opened and closed his mouth a few times, unable to find any words.

"Now who's the goldfish?" Rose managed, trying desperately to lighten the atmosphere.

"Hi," he said quietly, his face prickling. "Uh... fancy seeing you here."

She swallowed and gathered her clothes that she had dropped on the floor. "Doctor," she murmured, "what are you doing in here?"

"I was baking some pies," he replied bluntly.

Rose raised her eyebrows. "I thought you disapproved of sarcasm."

He grinned, covering his chest with another towel out of self consciousness. "It must be contagious." He added a shudder for good measure.

She couldn't help smirking. "Why are you having a shower anyway?"

He frowned. "Why can't I? It's my TARDIS."

Rose waved her arms around. "It's just that you never have one in the morning... I never see you."

"Yeah, well," he said slowly, shifting about and glancing at the floor. "I felt like one this morning. We've got a long day ahead of us, after all."

She smiled. "Alrighty then. Now shift, it's my turn. I hope you didn't use up all the hot water."

He walked past her, clutching the towel closely to his chest. "Um... could you pass me my suit?" He gestured to the floor. "My hands are... er, preoccupied."

Rose smiled and did as he asked. She handed the suit towards him and frowned, smelling the fabric. "This smells nice," she murmured. "Have you washed it?"

He didn't meet her eyes. "Yeah. I... well, I had plenty of time on my hands."

He headed towards the door, and suddenly remembered something. "Y'know, I never would have believed it to be 45. No wonder I felt sick, I was expecting it to be something like 30!"

Rose frowned. "You what?"

She couldn't get an answer, however, because he had disappeared out of sight. Shaking her head, she stepped into the shower, letting the warm water run over her.

***

"So, where are we off to today?"

The Doctor smiled widely, watching the TARDIS come to life. "It's a surprise."

Rose groaned. "I hate surprises. Y'know, for once it would be nice to have some preparation. It's always the same with you knowing everything and showing about all over the place..."

"That's my job," he replied, pulling a lever, "so stop complaining."

She huffed. "At least give me the name of the planet."

"Alright, it's called Fria, otherwise known as 'Planet of the Chips.'"

Rose's eyes widened. "Are you kidding me?"

He smirked. "Yeah." She nudged him in the ribs. "No, we're really going to a planet called Maloa."

"Oooh," Rose smiled. "Sounds exotic."

"Don't go saying that to the people who live there, though," the Doctor said. "They might get offended. I've heard that they're nice people, though, very friendly. Then again, that's a matter of opinion... someone once told me..." He trailed off, noticing Rose's blank face. "But anyway, I think you'll like it... for once I might be able to go somewhere and not make any enemies!"

He grinned goofily and Rose had to smile in response.

"Hold on," he suddenly cried, "this might be a bit-"

He trailed off as the TARDIS suddenly lurched forwards. They were both thrown backwards and fell onto the floor, staying there as the ship settled. After a few seconds, everything went quiet.

"Bumpy."

Rose laughed at the Doctor's understatement and held his hand when he sprinted over to help her upright.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied. "No major injuries. Though one of these days I actually want to see your license to drive this thing!"

"I would show you, but I've lost it," he answered quickly, reaching for his coat. "Now, off we go!"

When they made their way outside, Rose took a closer look at him. "Hey, are you alright Doctor? You look a little peaky..."

He shrugged off her comments. "Yeah, nothing wrong with me!"

They stepped out of the TARDIS and Rose gasped in awe, taking in her surroundings. The Doctor, meanwhile, had a truimphant smile on his face and also looked around in admiration.

"Welcome to Maloa."

Rose couldn't believe what she was seeing; it was like a paradise. The first thing that caught her attention was the sky above; it was a dark purple and it was filled with hundreds of bright stars, all the size of tiny lightbulbs.

"Is it the night time?" she asked in a breathy voice.

"No," the Doctor replied, "strangely not. This is what the sky always looks like, day and night. It's wonderful, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Rose managed, her heart hammering wildly.

Her gaze moved downwards and, in the distance, she could see several ice-capped mountains, standing tall and proud. To her left were rows of beautiful houses, each looking brand new with beige brickwork and shiny windows. They were all large, almost like mansions, and each had a beautiful garden full of flowers, ranging from all the bright colours she could think of. There was even a colour in there that she couldn't quite name.

To her right, there was a vast lake that seemed to sparkle under the light of the stars. She could see some boats on the surface and it looked as though some people were fishing.

Talking of which, the people around here were quite strange to Rose; they looked very similar to the humans but a little bit different. She couldn't quite put her finger on what the difference was, so she turned to the Doctor for an explanation.

"Well," he said, "they look so close to humans because they are more or less of that species, they've just evolved a bit."

Rose didn't reply so he continued.

"Basically, a few years ago, the humans found the technology that allowed them to go this far into space and they eventually found this planet, completely uninhabited. They realised that it was actually perfect for human life and that people could live here easily and so some decided to stay, completely intoxicated by the atmosphere. Can you blame them really?" he grinned. "Anyway, after time these people evolved; tiny little things that are hardly noticeable but that define them from the usual human species."

Rose frowned. "Why don't all humans just live here, then? It's a beautiful new world..."

"Well," the Doctor began, "it takes a lot of money to travel here so only the rich and famous tend to take the vacations. Also, it's not as big as the Earth and can't really support billions of people."

"What year is it?" Rose asked randomly.

"It's 2153," he informed her. "All the technology has improved."

"Why couldn't they find this planet before?" she asked.

"Dunno," he shrugged, "some say it just appeared out of nowhere, but they sure are glad they know of its existence now."

They walked ahead, the Doctor with his hands deep in his pockets and Rose spinning around, taking in her surroundings. Along the way they passed a few people, who all smiled politely and greeted them with a strange gesture. The Doctor returned this and Rose had to copy his actions; she thought she'd done it correctly, though, because the people didn't seem too offended.

"See, told you the Maloans were friendly," he smiled.

They walked along the clean, spotless pavement for a time Rose couldn't measure and it soon became thirsty work.

"Why don't we meet some of the locals?" the Doctor suggested, pointing to a cafe in the distance.

"Yes," Rose replied excitedly, "Sounds fun."

They walked through the doors into the shop and were immediately greeted warmly. Some fellow customers were drinking liquids of strange colours; purple, blue, even red. Rose vaguely wondered if she'd be able to order something she actually recognised.

They eventually took a seat next to the window and Rose sighed, breathing in deeply. "Hey, what's that smell that seems to follow us around everywhere?"

The Doctor shrugged. "It's probably all the flowers on the planet. It's lovely... makes a change from all the pollution back on Earth."

Rose nodded and they were soon greeted by a middle-aged looking woman. She had friendly eyes and a smile was always present of her face.

"Good day, welcome to Maloa. I'm assuming you're not originally from here..."

The Doctor shook his head. "No, we're not, but we must offer our compliments of this beautiful planet."

She smiled, bowing her head. "Thank you. Are you enjoying your stay?"

They both nodded. "Yes, it's fantastic."

She smiled again. "Please excuse me for a moment."

She rushed off and into, what Rose assumed, was the kitchen. She turned towards the Doctor, sighing. "I want to live here."

Just as he was grinning, the woman walked back, taking a seat and pushing two cups of a strange coloured liquid across the table. Rose frowned down at it and peeked at the Doctor, who looked equally confused.

"What's this?" he asked, eyeing her carefully.

"It's our welcome drink," the lady answered slowly, as though it was obvious. "It's a gift from us to you as a welcome to our planet."

The Doctor smiled, turning to Rose. "Told you they were lovely."

He took the cup in his hands. "Cheers." He then downed the drink in one go and quickly frowned. "Wait, this tastes a little familiar..."

"Familiar?" the woman asked. "What is your planet of origin?"

"Earth," the Doctor lied.

"Ah, then I know why you recognise the taste."

Rose looked at her in confusion, waiting for the explanation.

"That drink is Maloa's version of tea," she told them. "It contains all the same ingredients but we've altered it and added a few different chemicals, mainly to improve the taste."

The Doctor lost his grip on the cup and it clattered loudly on the table. "I... I'm sorry?"

"So what you're basically saying," Rose interrupted, a big smile on her lips, "is that you just let the Doctor drink some tea?"

The woman nodded. "What an odd name. But anyway, is there something wrong with that?"

"No," Rose grinned, drinking her own. "That's perfectly brilliant."

The Doctor looked at her in outrage and shock. "But that's not fair! Rose, I didn't know! It doesn't look anything like tea! It's a different colour! I... I... I never knew! No, this doesn't count! Don't you look at me like that, Rose, you know this isn't right! I was tricked by their... trickery!"

"You know full well what the contract says," she smirked. "And now you've lost!"

He ran his hands through his hair. "No, Rose!"

The woman sat next to them looked at the pair in confusion. Rose quickly explained. "Sorry, it's a long story."

"Yes," the Doctor said, standing up, "and I must apologise, but my _companion _and myself have to go now."

"So soon?" she objected, looking a little deflated.

"Yes, sorry. Thank you for the..." he paused. "_Tea_."

Rose snorted at his gritted teeth and they quickly left the room, heading back towards the TARDIS. The Doctor strode ahead silently, feeling very cheated. He threw open the doors with a lot of force and flew inside, hastily reaching for the contract. Rose watched him pull out his glasses and re-read the piece of paper several times. After a few moments, he sagged down onto the chair, completely defeated.

"I..." he started quietly. "I guess you win."

He threw his hands up, while Rose clapped hers together. "Yes!"

He took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes. "I can't believe it."

She stood by his side. "You were struggling though, you've got to admit..."

He didn't answer.

"But now," Rose said in a low voice, "it's forfeit time."

The Doctor met her eyes warily, looking a little worried. "Have you got any ideas?"

She put her hands in her pockets. "Oh yes."

* * *

**Argh!**

**I hope you liked that, especially the fictional planet (pronounced Ma-lowah) Please leave some feedback if you can and the final chapter will be posted in a few days.**


	6. Humiliation: Tyler Style

**The Bet**

_Chapter Six – Humiliation: Tyler Style_

"You're not an alien in disguise, are you?"

Rose frowned at the Doctor, who was currently sat with his arms folded, a moody look evident on his face. She was still feeling really happy and shamelessly smug after her victory, but this didn't stop the confusion she suddenly felt at the Doctor's random comment.

"No..." she said slowly, prompting an explanation.

"Well you're certainly evil enough," he grumbled, looking away, clearly in a huff. After a pause, he asked, "Why do you need to go back to your mother's anyway?"

A few minutes earlier, Rose had requested a trip back to the Powell Estate and the Doctor had unwillingly obliged, realising that he really had no choice. He still had a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach and just knew that whatever awaited him wasn't going to be good.

Rose just smiled and didn't answer his question.

He sighed. "Well at least I'll be able to have some tea this time around."

They sat in silence for the remainder of the journey and, when the TARDIS finally settled, the Doctor remained still, reluctant to move.

"Can't I just stay here?" he whined, resembling a little child.

"If you did you'd be burning with curiosity," Rose teased.

He huffed, shooting upwards. "I could easily leave you behind if this is too humiliating."

Rose stood still in shock after hearing this and looked straight at the Doctor. "What?" she asked quietly. "Would you really?"

Her expression was serious and she held her breath, waiting for his response. When he eventually smiled after a few seconds, Rose let out a long sigh.

"Nah, I'd never do that," he said, exhaling himself. "_Even _if this turns out to be one of the worst moments of my life."

"One of the worst moments of your life _so far_," Rose helpfully pointed out, earning herself a glare. "Sorry," she spluttered, laughing to herself. "But you did willingly sign the contract. You should have known what you were letting yourself in for."

He shrugged. "But I was still tricked."

She sighed. "We've already been through this..."

He shrugged again, kicking the floor with the tip of his shoe.

"What would your punishment have been for me, anyway?" Rose asked. "Y'know, just out of curiosity..."

He frowned. "I dunno. I've never really thought about it."

Rose looked at him carefully. "Did you always think you were gonna win or something?"

He didn't reply and realisation flooded Rose, along with a hint of anger.

"You did, didn't you?" Rose exclaimed, nudging him. "You self confident..." She trailed off, unable to think of an appropriate word. "Well, you deserve what's coming to you now."

They headed out of the doors and the Doctor gulped. "Well," he sighed under his breath, "here goes nothing..."

***

"Rose!"

Jackie's shrill voice made the Doctor automatically wince and he tried his hardest to smile when they both walked inside her flat.

"Two visits in one week!" she gasped. "What have I done to deserve this?"

The Doctor was going to make a rude comment but just about stopped himself; he was pleasantly surprised by his self control.

"Actually," Rose began as they took their seats, "there's something we need to tell you."

"Oh my God!" Jackie's hands flew to her mouth. "You're not pregnant, are you?"

Rose's face prickled. "No! Mum, for goodness' sake!"

Jackie relaxed a little. "It's nothing serious though, is it? You haven't caught some weird alien disease?"

The Doctor made a noise which Rose chose to ignore. "No. The Doctor and myself have made a little bet."

"A _bet_?" Jackie repeated.

"Yeah," Rose smiled, "We were wondering who could last the longest; the Doctor without his tea..."

"Oh! That explains why you wouldn't drink any of my tea the other day!"

Rose nodded. "And me without my chips."

"Oh! It's all making sense now! I was wondering why you two were acting so strangely." She paused. "Why are you telling me this, anyway?"

"Well, basically," Rose began, "the Doctor lost."

"No," he interrupted, leaning forward, "I was cheated into losing. It's not fair!"

"The Doctor lost and now he has to suffer his punishment," Rose said, smiling a little evilly.

"He _lost_? Blimey, I thought you'd have the advantage, being an alien and everything!"

The Doctor leaned backwards, sighing and placing his head in his hands. Now that he had two Tylers against him, he stood no chance.

"Yeah," Rose continued, "and now I thought you could become involved with what I have planned. But first, do you know if Mickey's about?"

"Mickey the idiot?" the Doctor asked, sitting upright. "Why do you need to see him?"

"You'll have to wait and see," Rose replied. She turned to Jackie. "Is he about?"

"Yeah," Jackie replied. "Give him a ring and he'll be by your side in a minute."

"Like a dog," the Doctor muttered under his breath.

"Right, I'll just be a sec," Rose said, walking out of the room and dialling some numbers on her phone. This left the Doctor and Jackie alone and he twiddled his thumbs, staring ahead at the television screen. Jackie had some rubbish chat programme on, currently involving two people arguing passionately on stage. There were even bodyguards and the Doctor chuckled to himself when they had to stop the fight that had suddenly broken out.

"How long did this bet of yours last?" Jackie asked suddenly and the Doctor pulled his eyes to hers.

"Um, a day or two," he muttered quickly, slightly ashamed.

"Blimey, you're weak," she scoffed. "Anyway, fancy a cuppa?"

He was tempted not to answer but sighed heavily. "Go on then."

Jackie smirked. "Stupid question really."

The Doctor ran his hands through his hair and sat back, turning his attention to the TV once more.

***

There was a sudden knock on the door and Rose sprung out of her seat, placing her cup of tea on the table. The Doctor watched her go and quickly scooped up the mug, finishing the rest of hers himself. It was the least he could do in the way of revenge.

"Mickey," Rose smiled, opening the door and letting him in. The Doctor suppressed an eye roll as he watched the way Mickey clung around Rose like a bad smell.

"Alright?" he replied. "Why do you need me? Are there some more aliens that I need to throw some vinegar on?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes this time, looking away.

"No," Rose replied, laughing. "Just come into my room with me."

"Wahey," Jackie smirked.

"What's going on?" the Doctor asked, turning around to face the pair.

"Never you mind," Rose answered, ushering Mickey away. "I need him to do some handiwork for me."

Jackie snorted and the Doctor felt his face growing hot. Surely he wasn't feeling... _jealous_? That was way beneath him and his normal behaviour...

The door closed behind them and the Doctor slowly turned around, rigidly sitting on the sofa. He didn't know what was worse; being left alone with Jackie or knowing that Rose and Mickey were getting up to something in the bedroom.

"So, what have you and Rose been getting up to?"

The Doctor took a deep breath to calm himself and explained about their trip to Maloa.

"Ooh, this Maloway sounds nice," Jackie said.

"Mal_oa,_" the Doctor corrected quietly.

"Whatever," she said, waving her arm dismissively.

"Yes, it was really-"

He trailed off when a loud wave of laughter suddenly came from Rose's room. The Doctor stiffened and his eyes flickered to the door.

"Sounds like they're having fun," Jackie muttered.

"Yeah..." the Doctor replied dismissively.

There was suddenly the sound of things moving around and the Doctor's eyes bulged. "What on Earth are they doing?" he frowned, heading towards the door. He knelt by the doorknob and pressed his ear to the wood. All he could hear was banging and occasional splutters and giggling.

Suddenly, before he could even register, the door opened and he fell forwards into Rose's room, face first onto the carpet. He quickly recovered himself and sprung upright, looking at Rose and Mickey blankly.

"Uh... Mickey just needs to pop out and get a few things," Rose said, eyeing him carefully.

"Oh, good," the Doctor murmured. "That's... good."

Mickey gave him a strange look and walked past. "See you in a bit, Rose."

"Yeah, see ya," Rose called, smiling as he walked out the door.

The Doctor stood staring at her for a moment, unable to make his body move.

"Something wrong, Doctor?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

He shook his head, stepping out of her way. "Nope. Everything's perfectly fine. Dandy, even."

"Good," she smiled. "What's on TV?"

She took a seat beside Jackie and they began chatting away, while the Doctor was a nervous mess. He wanted to pace around out of anxiety but managed to sit back down on the sofa, waiting for Mickey the idiot to return with whatever 'things' he had collected.

***

Another agonising hour later, there was a loud knock at the door and the Doctor nearly jumped out of his seat. Rose flew up and Mickey stumbled in, a large box in his hands. The Doctor's eyes immediately widened in panic.

"Just put it in there," Rose said to him, pointing to her room. She gave the Doctor a sweet smile and they both disappeared again, quickly bursting into laughter once more once the door was closed.

"I can't take this anymore," he said, placing his head into a pillow.

"Ah, don't be such a wimp," Jackie muttered.

"I'm not," he mumbled, his voice smothered by the fabric.

The minutes dragged by unbearably slowly and during the whole time the Doctor didn't emerge from the cushion. Jackie half wondered if he'd passed out because he was making very little movements, but her suspicions were soon proved wrong when Rose and Mickey burst out the door, smiles plastered on their faces. It made the Doctor feel a little queasy.

"We're ready for you now," she said ominously, and the Doctor wanted to be pulled into a Black Hole of some kind.

Jackie leapt up, hurrying towards the room. "Ooh, this should be good."

The Doctor followed reluctantly. "Fantastic," he muttered, quickly wincing; the sarcasm was most definitely contagious.

When he first walked into Rose's room he was a little confused; there was a large screen at the front of the room and it was connected up to Rose's phone. He perched awkwardly on the edge of the bed along with the others and Rose stood up, making a little speech.

"Welcome to Tyler cinemas," she laughed, "Today we have a special screening involving somebody present here today."

The Doctor felt close to tears.

"Luckily, Mickey helped sort out this screen, being the technology geek that he is," she continued.

"Oi," Mickey interrupted, throwing a teddy bear at her.

She laughed. "But anyway, I'll shut up and get on with it. I just hope this works now..."

She knelt down by her phone and, after flicking with a few buttons, the screen came to the life and the Doctor instantly wanted to curl up in a ball and roll away down a very large hill.

He was currently seeing himself asleep in the TARDIS, leaning on what he assumed was Rose's shoulder. As if that wasn't bad enough, he was muttering things and he felt his face growing hotter by every humiliating second that passed.

"Ugh... I love you," he muttered, frowning in his sleep. "No, don't leave me..."

He felt as though an egg was being fried on his forehead and it didn't help with the present company all laughing breathlessly.

"No, my tea!" he shouted loudly, resulting in another eruption of giggles. "I'll do anything... tea!"

There was a pause and he wriggled around on the screen, looking in discomfort. "Please don't go... yes, that's right... mmm."

He was making some strange noises and the Doctor placed his head in his hands. It was a similar story for about two minutes before the focus moved to the TARDIS floor and the screen suddenly turned black. He sat in silence, completely humiliated and mortified, while everybody around me was nudging and snorting.

"Doctor!" Mickey gasped. "That was classic, man!"

"Aww, a sleeptalker!" Jackie added. "Bless him."

"And he denied it all!" Rose spluttered. "But I got this evidence!"

The Doctor sat quietly, still in disbelief. This was the last thing he had expected and it was worse than he could have ever imagined.

They eventually calmed down and all let out long breaths, wiping the tears from their eyes.

"Blimey, that's made my day," Jackie sighed.

"Legendary," Mickey muttered.

"Yeah, gives a new meaning to the 'stuff of legend,' eh, Doctor?" Rose smirked.

The Doctor eventually managed to think coherently, despite the embarrassment, and remembered his old policy of denying everything.

"That wasn't me," he murmured.

This resulted in another wave of laughter and he winced, but still stood his ground. "Rose made me do that. I wasn't really asleep. It was all a joke."

Rose snorted. "Yeah, sure."

"Don't give us that bull, Doctor," Jackie added. "But thanks for the laughs."

He stood up and quickly walked out the room, heading back to the TARDIS. However, just as he reached the bedroom door, he turned around, brandishing his sonic screwdriver, and aimed it directly at the phone. A high pitched buzzing suddenly filled the room and Rose's phone exploded in a puff of smoke.

"Doctor!" she exclaimed. "That was new!"

He couldn't help grinning. "Ha! It deserved that."

"I'm gonna throttle you!" Rose screeched, running after him. He quickly headed for the door, sprinting towards the TARDIS.

"Bye Mum!" Rose called, slamming the door behind her.

They rushed all the way to the TARDIS and Rose eventually caught up with him when he was fumbling with the TARDIS key.

"Doctor!" she exclaimed, hitting him lightly on the back. "That wasn't very nice! I'll have to get a new phone now!"

"Oh yeah?" he replied, spinning around to face her. "And humiliating me like that _was_ nice?"

She snorted. "Sorry, but it was funny... you've got to admit it."

His face remained blank. "I was not amused."

They walked into the TARDIS together and the Doctor sighed, turning around to face Rose. "I've decided to pretend it never happened, anyway." He made a show of ripping up the contract and let the two pieces of paper flutter to the floor.

Rose smiled. "Good luck with that. I'll just have to remind you about it every single day for the rest of my life so that you don't forget."

He sighed. "Well, at times like these, all you need is a cup of tea and some pie. Fancy some?"

Rose nodded, heading towards the kitchen with him. As they walked, she pondered something. "Y'know, I think it's not just tea that you're addicted to... you seem to be showing an unnatural love for pie, too."

"Ugh, Rose, please don't start this again," he moaned. "I am never, _ever _making a bet with you again."

She grinned. "Glad to see you've learned your lesson."

They both settled down in the kitchen and the Doctor reached for his purple flask again, whose home had recently been the cupboard. He kissed it and soon poured himself some tea.

"I've missed you," he cooed.

Rose rolled her eyes and started gathering the ingredients for the pie. She paused suddenly and frowned. "Hey, Doctor, can't we just get some chips? It's a lot less hassle."

He nodded, swallowing his mouthful of tea. "Sounds good to me."

She rushed out the TARDIS, smiling to herself. The Doctor had his tea back and now she was about to be reunited with her chips; nothing had changed at all.

And, truthfully, that suited her just fine.

* * *

**And so the story finishes... it really doesn't feel like that long ago when I first published it!**

**Thanks again to everybody who read this and those who reviewed/alerted/favourited - I really wasn't expecting such a response. I honestly believed people would find it all incredibly silly! **

**I may write some more Doctor Who fanfiction in the future but for the time being it's back to Twilight for me. Thanks again and I hope you enjoyed the ending!**

**Becky :)**


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